If I am lost it's only for a little while

New layout...

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:45:34 GMT

So yeah, tell me what you think of my new layout? 823freckles 823freckles 823freckles

I am a bad live journaler. *sigh*

My 21st bday is in 3 days.

Touche, baby name wizard, touche.

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:45:26 GMT

I typed in Renesmee.

It suggested that real life Renesmee's had siblings named "Alsper, Belward, Emmetalie, Jaslice."

LOL IRL. :P

And yeah, judge me all you want, but I actually think Renesmee is pretty sounding. But hell no, would I ever name my child that. Like Nevaeh. Pretty, but I'm an agnostic.

Why am I still awake? I think I have to work in six hours. =/

They taked all my hairs!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 03:45:30 GMT

Donated to Locks of Love.

Y/N?

And I miss my sweet Lily (and Rose). :(
(Fuck my asshole cousin and his selfish bitch wife)

That little piece of my heart they'll forever hold, for better or for worse.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 08:04:42 GMT

Oh, sometimes I get struck with--I miss her so much it hurts. Sometimes.

But ugh, I remember all the drama. Mostly my fault, but still.

And yet, isn't it just magical to meet someone (or not meet, as was fated for us, I guess) who you can talk to for hours and hours every day?

It has been a year since I have talked to my RL best friend and my online best friend. And sometimes, it hurts so fucking much, to not have those two girls in my life. It still sneaks up and breaks my heart sometimes. Sometimes.

Feedback on fanfiction, to the writers on my flist, etcetera.

Sat, 30 May 2009 07:58:26 GMT

I was browsing thequillstation and thinking about feedback. And you know, why lie? I'm always disappointed by feedback on my stories. It can be broken down into different types of disappointment.

Firstly, it's the disappointment of not enough feedback. Overall, I often think that I don't get enough feedback period. And then, I look at feedback on some stories versus feedback on others. For example, Dirty Mind. I mean, I guess it's sexy. And amusing. And snappy/clever. It's NC-17, for a very popular show, and a (at that time) popular pairing. So I understand why it received the amount of reviews it did (16). But I look, for comparison, to one of my very favorite of my fics, Full Circle, with all of its 6 reviews. I adore that fic.

Okay, but that brings us to another issue. Quality of feedback. This is an area where I myself am severely lacking. I can be head over heels in love with a story and not really have anything to say. It helps of course, when you know the writer-it's easier to open up. But so rarely do you get constructive criticism or even meaningful feedback on your stories. That is why I love people like lenina20, who always gives the best feedback, in my opinion. If only I could get the girl to beta for me! :P In that respect, I look back at the reviews for Dirty Mind and Full Circle. If one can count feedback as currency, and not just amount but quality, then I certainly find Full Circle's feedback to have made me richer.

Finally, it is a matter of who gives feedback. If I write a Sawyer/Kate story and lenina20 doesn't comment on it, you can bet I'd be disappointed! (Really, I have no right, as I am nowhere near having caught up on her huge corpus of fics) If a writer I really respect gives me glowing feedback, that feels wonderful. On a related note, I get a bit annoyed at my RL friends who don't even make an effort to read my fic. Not many people in real life know I write fanfiction. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like something one needs to share with everyone. Don't you agree? But for those few who do know (Rachel, Keara, sirena_lupin, 13_sammie_07) I guess I just feel disappointed that they've never felt the need to read and review. Granted, I don't expect nor really want them to jump into the heavy stuff. But writing fic...it's what I do (even though it is rarely) and I'd like some support.

But the real point here is that I am truly failing to address these three issues of feedback when I read fanfic. Thus, it is quite hypocritical of me to ask these things for my own writing. Thus, I am pledging to make more of an effort to always leave a review, provide substance to my review (at least a little), and read more of my friends' writing.

Thus, to the writers on my flist. Please point me in the direction of your favorite stories of yours. I will make an effort to read them in the coming days/weeks, and provide feedback. You are all quite talented, and I love you all. And I want to give you what I so want for my own writing. :)

On a related note, this is some interesting meta on feedback as currency, so read it.

Love is the End: A Season 5 James/Juliet Fanmix

Tue, 26 May 2009 00:59:30 GMT

Love is the End
A season 5 James/Juliet fanmix

Juliet: We didn't get a chance to finish our conversation.

James: What conversation was that?

Juliet: The one before they started shooting at us. Where you were about to tell me how it felt to see Kate again.

James: I wasn't about to tell you anything.

Juliet: Why don't you tell me now?

James: I was close enough to touch her. If I wanted to, I could've...stood right up and talked to her.

Juliet: Why didn't you?

James: What's done is done...Juliet.

Juliet: What's wrong?
(Juliet touches her nose-it's bleeding.)

Come Clean // Eisley
Mister, I don't believe in you
Mister, I don't believe in you
Just come clean all around me
With your headbleeds and your nosebleeds, too
I don't see that there's a truth
In the way you're talking to me
But let's give it a try
Let's keep it for truth
Why do you want to fall to pieces?
Let's give it a try
Let's keep it for truth
And come clean all around me

James: Well what about me? You really gonna leave me here with mad scientist and Mr. I speak to dead people? And Jin, who is a helluva nice guy but not exactly the greatest conversationalist.

Juliet: You'll be fine.

James: Maybe. Who's gonna get my back? Come on. Just give me 2 weeks. It's all I'm askin'. Two weeks.

Juliet: Alright, 2 weeks.

Two Weeks // Grizzly Bear
Save up all the days
A routine relays
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay
Would you always
Maybe sometimes
Make it easy
Take your time
Think of all the ways
Momentary phase
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay
Every time you try
Quarter half the mile
Just like yesterday
I told you I would stay

James: You were amazing today.

Juliet: Thank you for believing in me. I love you.

James: Mmm, I love you too.

A Minor Incident // Badly Drawn Boy
There's nothing I could say to make you try to feel ok
And nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do
And if the chance should happen that I never see you again
Just remember that I'll always love you
I'll be a better person on the other side, I'm sure
You'd find a way to help yourself
You'll find another door
So shrug off minor incidents
And make us both feel proud
I just wish I could be there to see you through
You always were the one to make us stand out in a crowd
Though every once upon a while, your head was in the clouds
There's nothing you could never do to ever let me down
And remember that I'll always love you

James: I had a thing for a girl once...and I had a shot at her, but I didn't take it. After a little while I'd lay in bed every night wondering, was it a mistake? Wondering. I never stop thinking about her. But now I can barely remember what she looks like. And her face is...she's just gone. And she ain't never coming back. So...is 3 years enough to get over someone? Absolutely.

Three Days at Sea (Three Lost Years) // Great Lake Swimmers
when they found me
They saw how much that
I had changed, I had changed
I had
I have changed, I have
I have changed, I have
I have changed, I have
I have changed, I have

Juliet: It's over, isn't it?

James: What's over?

Juliet: This. Us. Playing house. All of it. I never actually thought they'd come back.

James: So they're back! Nothing's changed.

Slow Hands // Interpol
Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a floral blaze
Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now
We spies
We slow hands
Put the weights around yourself

James: We'll buy Microsoft.

Juliet: Excuse me?

James: Then we'll bet the Cowboys in the '78 Super Bowl. We're gonna be rich. Look, I'm sorry. I should've listened to you when you wanted to get on this sub three years ago.

Juliet: I'm glad you talked me out of it.

Make a Plan to Love Me // Bright Eyes
I heard you're scheming new pyramids
Another big idea to get you rich
Make a plan to love me sometime soon
You said you had your foot in the door
You buy and then you sell, you buy some more
Make a plan to love me sometime soon
Life is too short
Death doesn't ask
It don't owe you that
Some things you lose
You don't get back
So just know what you have
And make a plan to love me sometime soon

James: I gotta right to know why you changed your mind.

Juliet: I changed my mind when I saw you look at her...don't. Don't. Don't.

James: I don't care who I looked at. I'm with you.

C'mere // Interpol
It's way too late to be this locked inside ourselves
The trouble is that you're in love with someone else
It should be me
Oh, it should be me

Juliet: And you would stay with me forever, if I let you, and that is why I will always love you. What we had was just for a little while, and just because we love each other doesn't mean that we're meant to be together. Maybe we were never supposed to be together. So if Jack can make it that none of you ever come here, then he should.

Blackout // Muse
don't kid yourself
and don't fool yourself
this love's too good to last
and i'm too old to dream

James: Why are you doing this Juliet?

Juliet: I...If I never meet you, then I never have to lose you.

No One's Gonna Love You // Band of Horses
Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you'd be better off
Or you liked it that way
But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one's gonna love you more than I do
But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing's tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It's tumbling down
Hard.

James: I got you...Don't you leave me.

Juliet: It's okay.

James: Don't you leave me. Hold on!

Juliet: I love you-

James: No you don't let go-

Juliet: I love you, James.

James: No!

Juliet: I love you so much.

Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space // Spiritualized
I will love you till I die
And I will love you all the time
So please put your sweet hand in mine
And float in space and drift in time
All my time until I die
We'll float in space, just you and I
So please put your sweet hand in mine
And float in space and drift in time
I'll love you to death, I guess that's what you get
And I don't know where we are all going to

---

*Bonus Track*

Love is the End // Keane
Take it back, don't let it die
Or rage against the fallen night
'Cause I still do, depend on you
Don't say those words, you wrung me through
Woah, oh oh
Love is the end
So let's not pretend
'Cause love is the end

//download .zip//

//Sendspace mirror download .zip//

Comments are much appreciated. ♥

I Love One Thing, Destroy the Other: A Jasper/Rose Ficmix

Wed, 20 May 2009 22:21:21 GMT

I Love One Thing, Destroy the Other

Or four times Jasper couldn’t quite understand Rose’s emotions, and one time he could

A Jasper/Rosalie ficmix

( Here, at 823_emporium )

An Exercise in Onomastics: The Office, Jim/Pam, pg-13

Sat, 16 May 2009 21:12:39 GMT

Title: An Exercise in Onomastics
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own The Office, just The Office dvds.
Notes: *spoilers for the Season 5 finale!*
The names Jim mentions, btw, are my Office fangirl friends online, just for fun. ♥

---

( An Exercise in Onomastics )

Only 8 months until the next LOST! sigh

Thu, 14 May 2009 03:26:27 GMT

Umm, you know, I'd love it if you humored my poor, broken little heart and answered 'yes' to my first question, but actually...answer honestly. Oh my. Oh my.

Should you want to vote on some of the old polls (preferably just to rate the episode) you can find them all under this tag. I hope you all enjoyed the polls I posted and the 5th season! If you'd like to see out "stats" (because you know, I didn't get a D in that class *whistles*) I will post them asap, keep a look out. Thanks, y'all! (and you know, add me if you wanna? ♥)

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: The Incident

PS:
Desmond, the graduate (and my mom)!

Jack is a douche. But what else is new?

Thu, 07 May 2009 02:16:27 GMT

I've had the ~~swine~~ flu for almost a week now. And it sucks. That is all I have to say.

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: Follow the Leader

Watch out cupid...piggy...someone...stuck me with a sickness.

Sun, 03 May 2009 03:08:55 GMT

Sick. Again. Almost 102 degree fever. AND it is right before finals.

Let's hope it's not swine flu, amirite?

LOST poll on The Variable

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:22:16 GMT

This LOST. AHHH. OMG.

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: The Variable

Off to meeting my Stats group. Bah. Hope/pray for me passing the class/getting a C!

LOST POLL (like a boss)

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 02:52:05 GMT

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: Some Like it Hoth

Dead is Dead...or is it? LOST is back to its glory days!

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 02:38:02 GMT

LOST blew my mind tonight. Wow. WOW. Amazing.

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: Dead Is Dead

Still looking for some help with that fic, btw.

PS: Would you all be interested in statistics and rankings of the episodes at the end of the season?

On LOST:

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 02:15:57 GMT

This episode was...I mean, I liked it. Love Cassidy and seeing Clementine. Sawyer's face! *kisses* But didn't find it too thrilling. And I am tired. So poll below, and I'm still looking for someone to help me with the fic I mentioned last week! Help?

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: Whatever Happened, Happened

Another LOST episode poll and a plea for help with a possible new LOST fic!

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 02:37:23 GMT

So, LOST tonight. It's seriously the highlight of my week btw, which goes to show how awesome LOST/how boring my life is. I'm doing one of these polls every week, btw, and at the end of the season will rank our favorite to lowest rates episodes. So come back next Wednesday too.

Also, I had a white (plot) bunny with an 8 on its side accost me today. It involves Juliet and Sawyer's relationship, and Daniel Faraday. And time travel. And babies. And Charlotte. Somewhat in that order. Anyways, I need someone to either talk me into writing it, or talk me out of writing it. It could and should be more than one part, and I have a hard time with that. Also, you know, everyone seems a little conflicted on this whole time travel thing, so I'd like someone to be like, "Hey, Nicole, this doesn't quite work because..." and so forth. So, anyone wanna help me?

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: He's Our You

On the next episode of ~~LOST~~ Nicole's journal, Nicole bitches about her ridiculous family, starring members of the family you've not heard much about before!

My new puppy.

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:26:46 GMT

This is Desmond. He likes long walks on the beach, girls named Penny, rum, constants, pushing a button every 108 minutes, and bashing your brain in when you try to take his boat.

ISN'T HE CUUUU-UUUTE?

♥ ♥ ♥

(appropriate icon is appropriate)

Namaste, biatch!

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 02:29:16 GMT

I've pretty much jumped ship to Sawyer/Juliet. So yeah. Also, I now ship Sun/LaPidus, which I now dub SUNNYPENIS. This is our ship name. PIMP IT AND LEAVE A SHOUTOUT IF YOU LIVE ON A SUNNYPENIS SUBMARINE!

---

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: Namaste

LaFleur: Survey Says...

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 04:01:48 GMT

I honestly, honestly do not know how I feel about certain new developments on LOST. Until I figure it out, I want to hear your opinions. Thus, take this poll!

View Poll: Your thoughts on LOST: LaFleur

These Earthquakes Form Chasms We Cannot Cross: LOST, Sawyer/Kate (nc-17)

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 09:47:41 GMT

Title: These Earthquakes Form Chasms We Cannot Cross
Fandom: LOST
Pairing: Sawyer/Kate
Rating: nc-17
Disclaimer: LOST isn’t mine. Seriously, do you think I’d allow this Jate kissing travesty if I did?
Summary: Kate and Sawyer reunite after three long years apart. Spoilers up to season 5, no later than “This Place is Death.”
A/N: This is for my darling olaf47 for kinky_hearts. Sorry it’s late, and I hope you like it!

---

( These Earthquakes Form Chasms We Cannot Cross )

Second chance doesn't mean second chance to screw up.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:45:18 GMT

As many of you know, I transferred this semester from Loyola University Chicago to Truman State University in ~~the middle of nowhere~~ Kirksville, MO after 2.5 years at Loyola. I think I'm happier here. But part of the reason I took so long to transfer was because of my poor grades at Loyola, especially my Freshman year. I screwed up. I continued to screw up for Sophomore year and the beginning of Junior year, though to a slightly lesser degree. That is why I didn't get to study abroad; my gpa was too low. So I came to Truman. Fresh start, right?

I've been a fool these past five weeks at Truman. I haven't been taken my studies seriously at all. As a result, I am doing horribly in my classes. I hate myself so much right now. I think the internet is a big part of my problem. So I am handing my laptop off to my suitemate, Spoli, and she is only allowed to give it back to me on weekends or when I tell her I have an assignment. So we'll see how that goes.

*sigh*

Two memes, for the hell of it.

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 06:05:06 GMT

Still sick. BAH.

---

The first six people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those six who respond first. 

 This offer does have some restrictions and limitations: 
• I make no guarantees that you will like what I make (so no bitching). 
• What I create will be just for you. 
• It will be done at some point this year (but no guarantees as to when). 
• You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix tape. It may be fic, or a poem. I may draw or paint something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure! 
• I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. (You expected less?) 
• Void where prohibited by law. 

---

I feel like I did this already, but then lost track of who and what and...I fail. I promise not to fail this time.

---

Also, I haven't voice posted in forever. And now that my paid account is back, I ought to utilize it. So I thought it would be fun to have a little voice post meme. Pick one of these options. First person to pick each will get their request fulfilled.

-Comment and tell me to read one of my fics out loud. Your choice. I'll do it.
-Give me a song to sing. I sing horribly. But I'll do it.
-Tell me to re-enact a scene from one of my favorite movies or tv shows. Bonus points to me if I get someone else to do it with me....we'll see.
-Anything you want. I'll voice post it. Be creative.

---

Also, you know, it would be pretty sweet if you would do the OTP meme for me that I posted last week? http://823freckles.livejournal.com/88453.html?mode=reply

Eww, illness.

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 17:13:54 GMT

So, I'm sick. I get sick pretty rarely. I mean, I get that "eww I don't feel that well let's use it as an excuse to not go to class" feeling often enough. But truly, actually sick? Not so much.

So naturally, I am sick now. A cold, or something. Because it's not like I have SO MUCH STUFF TO DO. Bah.

Comments to make me feel better, please?

Sanity is a Social Costruct: Wonderfalls, Jaye/Aaron (nc-17)

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 09:21:29 GMT

Title: Sanity is a Social Construct
Fandom: Wonderfalls
Pairing: Jaye Tyler/Aaron Tyler. So yes, here's a warning for incest.
Rating: nc-17
Disclaimer: Wonderfalls isn't mine, because if it were, it would still be on the air.
A/N: I wrote this for the porn battle prompt: sanity. I had multiple prompts picked out and started, but I only had time to finish this one. And yes, shame on me.

---

( Read it here. )

You know you want to join my new community. bats eyelashes

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 10:00:28 GMT

rpf_raunchfest rpf_raunchfest rpf_raunchfest rpf_raunchfest