Oh, sometimes I get struck with--I miss her so much it hurts. Sometimes.

But ugh, I remember all the drama. Mostly my fault, but still.

And yet, isn't it just magical to meet someone (or not meet, as was fated for us, I guess) who you can talk to for hours and hours every day?

It has been a year since I have talked to my RL best friend and my online best friend. And sometimes, it hurts so fucking much, to not have those two girls in my life. It still sneaks up and breaks my heart sometimes. Sometimes.

I was browsing thequillstation and thinking about feedback. And you know, why lie? I'm always disappointed by feedback on my stories. It can be broken down into different types of disappointment.

Firstly, it's the disappointment of not enough feedback. Overall, I often think that I don't get enough feedback period. And then, I look at feedback on some stories versus feedback on others. For example, Dirty Mind. I mean, I guess it's sexy. And amusing. And snappy/clever. It's NC-17, for a very popular show, and a (at that time) popular pairing. So I understand why it received the amount of reviews it did (16). But I look, for comparison, to one of my very favorite of my fics, Full Circle, with all of its 6 reviews. I adore that fic.

Okay, but that brings us to another issue. Quality of feedback. This is an area where I myself am severely lacking. I can be head over heels in love with a story and not really have anything to say. It helps of course, when you know the writer-it's easier to open up. But so rarely do you get constructive criticism or even meaningful feedback on your stories. That is why I love people like lenina20, who always gives the best feedback, in my opinion. If only I could get the girl to beta for me! :P In that respect, I look back at the reviews for Dirty Mind and Full Circle. If one can count feedback as currency, and not just amount but quality, then I certainly find Full Circle's feedback to have made me richer.

Finally, it is a matter of who gives feedback. If I write a Sawyer/Kate story and lenina20 doesn't comment on it, you can bet I'd be disappointed! (Really, I have no right, as I am nowhere near having caught up on her huge corpus of fics) If a writer I really respect gives me glowing feedback, that feels wonderful. On a related note, I get a bit annoyed at my RL friends who don't even make an effort to read my fic. Not many people in real life know I write fanfiction. I don't know, it just doesn't seem like something one needs to share with everyone. Don't you agree? But for those few who do know (Rachel, Keara, sirena_lupin, 13_sammie_07) I guess I just feel disappointed that they've never felt the need to read and review. Granted, I don't expect nor really want them to jump into the heavy stuff. But writing fic...it's what I do (even though it is rarely) and I'd like some support.

But the real point here is that I am truly failing to address these three issues of feedback when I read fanfic. Thus, it is quite hypocritical of me to ask these things for my own writing. Thus, I am pledging to make more of an effort to always leave a review, provide substance to my review (at least a little), and read more of my friends' writing.

Thus, to the writers on my flist. Please point me in the direction of your favorite stories of yours. I will make an effort to read them in the coming days/weeks, and provide feedback. You are all quite talented, and I love you all. And I want to give you what I so want for my own writing. :)

On a related note, this is some interesting meta on feedback as currency, so read it.

Love is the End
A season 5 James/Juliet fanmix


( cover art and songs under here )

Comments are much appreciated. ♥

Title: An Exercise in Onomastics
Fandom: The Office
Pairing: Jim/Pam
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own The Office, just The Office dvds.
Notes: *spoilers for the Season 5 finale!*
The names Jim mentions, btw, are my Office fangirl friends online, just for fun. ♥

---

( An Exercise in Onomastics )

Umm, you know, I'd love it if you humored my poor, broken little heart and answered 'yes' to my first question, but actually...answer honestly. Oh my. Oh my.

Should you want to vote on some of the old polls (preferably just to rate the episode) you can find them all under this tag. I hope you all enjoyed the polls I posted and the 5th season! If you'd like to see out "stats" (because you know, I didn't get a D in that class *whistles*) I will post them asap, keep a look out. Thanks, y'all! (and you know, add me if you wanna? ♥)

( Find the spoilery poll under this cut and my broken heart sobbbbb )



PS:
Desmond, the graduate (and my mom)!

I've had the swine flu for almost a week now. And it sucks. That is all I have to say.

( Here's your spoilery LOST poll )

Sick. Again. Almost 102 degree fever. AND it is right before finals.

Let's hope it's not swine flu, amirite?

This LOST. AHHH. OMG.

( spoilery poll under the layer of my tears/jears )

Off to meeting my Stats group. Bah. Hope/pray for me passing the class/getting a C!

Some things you ought to know:
1. Recs are organized alphabetically by fandom, then by pairing.
2. Whatever rating the author gave their story is the rating I provide in parentheses. If the author didn't provide a rating, I put NR in parentheses.
3. If a story is still archived wherever I linked, but locked/set to private, I noted this with *locked*
4. However, I have NOT included warnings, such as violence, incest, etc. Read the info yourself!
5. I don't usually rec WIP. When they are finished, I will rec the stories.
6. I found all of these stories very enjoyable. However, this is not even the tip of the fanfic-iceberg of what it out there. DO explore stories by the authors I linked, because many of them have written multiple stories, and I am sure they are all great.
7. NEW recs have an asterick * before the title. This entry will also be pushed to the top of my flist when I update with new stories.
8. I obviously recommend my own stories, which are linked last and marked with a ♥ under their respective headings. Reviews feed my soul.
9. Rec me some stories PLEASE!


( The Fall )

( The Giver )

( Grey's Anatomy )

( Hannibal Lecter-verse )

( Harry Potter )

( Law & Order SVU )

( Lord of the Rings )

( LOST )

( The Office )

( Office RPF )

( Pushing Daisies )

( Queer as Folk )

( Star Wars )

( Twilight )

( Twilight RPF )

( Wonderfalls )

( The X-Files )

LOST blew my mind tonight. Wow. WOW. Amazing.

( spoilery poll under this cut. )


Still looking for some help with that fic, btw.

PS: Would you all be interested in statistics and rankings of the episodes at the end of the season?

This episode was...I mean, I liked it. Love Cassidy and seeing Clementine. Sawyer's face! *kisses* But didn't find it too thrilling. And I am tired. So poll below, and I'm still looking for someone to help me with the fic I mentioned last week! Help?

( Read more... )

So, LOST tonight. It's seriously the highlight of my week btw, which goes to show how awesome LOST/how boring my life is. I'm doing one of these polls every week, btw, and at the end of the season will rank our favorite to lowest rates episodes. So come back next Wednesday too.

Also, I had a white (plot) bunny with an 8 on its side accost me today. It involves Juliet and Sawyer's relationship, and Daniel Faraday. And time travel. And babies. And Charlotte. Somewhat in that order. Anyways, I need someone to either talk me into writing it, or talk me out of writing it. It could and should be more than one part, and I have a hard time with that. Also, you know, everyone seems a little conflicted on this whole time travel thing, so I'd like someone to be like, "Hey, Nicole, this doesn't quite work because..." and so forth. So, anyone wanna help me?

( spoilery poll ahead, mateys... )

On the next episode of LOST Nicole's journal, Nicole bitches about her ridiculous family, starring members of the family you've not heard much about before!

This is Desmond. He likes long walks on the beach, girls named Penny, rum, constants, pushing a button every 108 minutes, and bashing your brain in when you try to take his boat.

ISN'T HE CUUUU-UUUTE?



♥ ♥ ♥

(appropriate icon is appropriate)

I honestly, honestly do not know how I feel about certain new developments on LOST. Until I figure it out, I want to hear your opinions. Thus, take this poll! ( POLL UNDER HERE W/SPOILERS. )

Title: These Earthquakes Form Chasms We Cannot Cross
Fandom: LOST
Pairing: Sawyer/Kate
Rating: nc-17
Disclaimer: LOST isn’t mine. Seriously, do you think I’d allow this Jate kissing travesty if I did?
Summary: Kate and Sawyer reunite after three long years apart. Spoilers up to season 5, no later than “This Place is Death.”
A/N: This is for my darling olaf47 for kinky_hearts. Sorry it’s late, and I hope you like it!

---

( These Earthquakes Form Chasms We Cannot Cross )

As many of you know, I transferred this semester from Loyola University Chicago to Truman State University in the middle of nowhere Kirksville, MO after 2.5 years at Loyola. I think I'm happier here. But part of the reason I took so long to transfer was because of my poor grades at Loyola, especially my Freshman year. I screwed up. I continued to screw up for Sophomore year and the beginning of Junior year, though to a slightly lesser degree. That is why I didn't get to study abroad; my gpa was too low. So I came to Truman. Fresh start, right?

I've been a fool these past five weeks at Truman. I haven't been taken my studies seriously at all. As a result, I am doing horribly in my classes. I hate myself so much right now. I think the internet is a big part of my problem. So I am handing my laptop off to my suitemate, Spoli, and she is only allowed to give it back to me on weekends or when I tell her I have an assignment. So we'll see how that goes.

*sigh*

Still sick. BAH.

---

The first six people to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those six who respond first.



This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

• I make no guarantees that you will like what I make (so no bitching).

• What I create will be just for you.

• It will be done at some point this year (but no guarantees as to when).

• You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a mix tape. It may be fic, or a poem. I may draw or paint something. I might bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

• I reserve the right to do something extremely strange. (You expected less?)

• Void where prohibited by law.


---

I feel like I did this already, but then lost track of who and what and...I fail. I promise not to fail this time.

---

Also, I haven't voice posted in forever. And now that my paid account is back, I ought to utilize it. So I thought it would be fun to have a little voice post meme. Pick one of these options. First person to pick each will get their request fulfilled.

-Comment and tell me to read one of my fics out loud. Your choice. I'll do it.
-Give me a song to sing. I sing horribly. But I'll do it.
-Tell me to re-enact a scene from one of my favorite movies or tv shows. Bonus points to me if I get someone else to do it with me....we'll see.
-Anything you want. I'll voice post it. Be creative.

---

Also, you know, it would be pretty sweet if you would do the OTP meme for me that I posted last week? http://823freckles.livejournal.com/88453.html?mode=reply